End of Fourth Week

The Good Struggle

I was reminded the other day that struggle is a good thing. It can help us to grow. When we are faced with obstacles, it's not always about the outcome but about how we handle it. This is what the Bach Challenge has become for me.

I'm really struggling to meet my goals that I set in the beginning. It is very difficult finding time to practice. I am getting some good focused practice time in but it's just not as much as I'd like. The thing is, I just don't have the time between teaching, taking care of the kids, and so forth. You know how it is. Also, it is very hard to work on the relaxed/ effortless playing as I don't get much practice time that is quiet and without interruptions.

I have been really trying to figure out how to make more time for this and have not come up with any instant solution. What I have decided is that I still cannot give up on this. As mentioned in previous posts, I've had some incredible breakthroughs in my playing even if I am only meeting 60-70% of my goals.

Realization

The realization I had the other day was that God looks at our hearts. He knows our efforts. He knows our struggles. Even though we can't do everything exactly right, it comes down to honest effort. Deep down we know when we are making excuses and wasting time.

I have to be honest here about my efforts as a Christian because this was part of the challenge, that I seek God with what I'm doing in my music and making sure I am on God's side (I almost said that God is on my side). My efforts have been very weak. I'm in that part of the Christian cycle where I don't seem to be nearly as connected with God as I was during the summer. I really struggle to make time to pray, read, and study. However, just by being frustrated about this reminds me that God is still nudging me along. The Spirit really does live in me even now!

This is not an excuse but having kids sure makes it hard to devote myself to anything fully. I know a lot of you probably can agree on this. BUT, I have been learning to be more selfless which is a big lesson I think I need to learn along with so many other lessons I am learning as a parent. So even though I can't devote much time to God, He is still here with me AND He is quite possibly giving me other challenges that I need to focus on to grow as a Christian. So even though I can't fit in a good devotion time every day, I can still do my best to live according to what I know is right by God.

Application and Direction

Now, coming back to the Bach challenge. I know I can't give up on this even though I'm not where I'd like to be with it. I still need to do my best because what I'm accomplishing is better than giving up on this. I also need to continue to try to meet my goals as best as possible. This is really hard because I'm going to have to accept failure as I've experienced in past weeks. I hate failure!

I have worked out most of the fingerings in the piece and have begun practicing different sections to build some muscle memory. Of the four pages of the piece, I have the first page roughly worked out and probably a total of another half page roughly practiced to build some muscle memory. I will be continuing this process to get to a point where I can play slowly through the piece. During this process I will also work at memorizing the piece so as I speed it up I am not held back by reading the music. By memorizing it also means that I really know the piece.

Best wishes to you and your own challenges.

SDG (All Glory to God)